Relationship Self-Sabotage Test

© Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2009.

This test measures the ways in which you cope with relationship ups and downs.

When things go wrong in your relationship you probably want to feel in charge of your emotions and protect yourself from being hurt. You may gain short term control but create problems for your relationship further down the road. This test measures the likelihood of you pushing your partner away rather than improving the quality of your relationships.

Please read each statement and chose the response that best matches your style. For example if you strongly agree that you resent having to work hard in relationships you would chose the response marked 'strongly agree.' If you disagree you would chose the response marked 'disagree.'

  1. I resent having to work hard in personal relationships as results are so unpredictable.
    2. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  2. I'm more comfortable talking about my professional than my private life.
    3. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  3. My personal relationships usually end with hurt and disappointment, so I pass on opportunities to meet new people.
    4. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  4. When my motives are misunderstood, I feel defeated, and walk away empty handed.
    5. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  5. The arguments in my head for abandoning hope in personal relationships are much louder than the wish to keep trying.
    6. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  6. I don't understand what goes wrong in my personal relationships but I'm weary of asking for feedback.
    7. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  7. I feel annoyed when I make all the compromises in my relationships, so I protest using the silent treatment.
    8. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  8. It's hurtful when my partner doesn't read me as I would like so I pretend it doesn't matter and say nothing about it.
    9. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  9. I hate having to compete for my partner's attention, so don't get in the game at all when other people are around.
    10. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree
  10. I'm confused when my partner is loving one moment and distant another time, so I give up trying to get on their radar.
    11. Strongly agree Agree Disagree Strongly disagree

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Disclaimer:
Taking this test and receiving your results in no way constitutes the delivery of a psychotherapeutic or other service. There is no liability on the part of Dr. Jeanette Raymond for any reactions you may have while interacting with the material, or subsequently. The information provided is educational only.

© Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2009.